- sorry to myself;

o que fazer quando seu pior inimigo é você?

talvez um dia, quem sabe, eu seja capaz de me perdoar por todo o mal que me fiz.
por todas as vezes que não me respeitei. por todas as vezes que eu menti pra mim.
talvez eu tenha mais mágoas de mim, do que das outras pessoas que passaram pela minha vida.

e dizem que se perdoar está ligado com a nossa capacidade de se amar e se aceitar. seria isso verdade?

--

For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
for continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and, myself not even considering.
For beating myself up and overfunctioning.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one’s been crueler than I’ve been to me.

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable.
For myself love being so embarassingly conditional.
And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible and
for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

[...]
And I’m sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I’m sorry to myself, for treating me worse than I would anybody else.

[...]
For ignoring you: my highest voices.
For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.
For being so disassociated from my body,
and for not letting go when it would’ve been the kindest thing.
(Sorry to myself - Alanis M.)